Life is Not Like Corey and Topanga

For 15 years, I've had a crush on the same boy. It all started in 3rd grade. He had the latest hairstyle: the bowl cut. He was in the classroom next door, and every time I caught a glimpse of his deep blue eyes, my little eight year old heart would flutter. Soon, we moved away, and I thought Well that's the end of this crush. Later, my family and I moved back, and back came my crush on this blue-eyed beauty. Don't misunderstand. I haven't built a secret shrine to him in my closet like Helga from Hey Arnold. But, in the back of my mind, he's always been there. There's always been the idea of us finally ending up together. Like Corey and Topanga.

Living in the south has its perks: friendliness, family values, southern hospitality, etc. However, one of my big issues with living here is the marriage expectation. I'm aware that the world has a collective expectation that everyone should get married, but here in the south that expectation is exemplified to an unimaginable number. My entire life, I've been taught that if you are not married by 25, then you are considered an old maid. How ridiculous is that?

Recently, I've moved on from the all-obsessive crush on my third grade sweetheart (if you can even call him that), and I'm very proud of myself. If you knew what an accomplishment this was, you'd be proud as well. I finally realized that I was not in love with him. I was in love with this idea of love. I was so set on accomplishing this "Corey and Topanga" love that society pushes on us that I overlooked something important: being in love.

I think that's what hinders many of our generation. We are too concerned about finding love and not wanting to be alone that we cling to the first potential mate that we see. I've noticed that many of my friends and family are in relationships with people that they continuously fight with and can't trust, simply because they don't want to be alone. I know that love, at its core, is not a rational idea. However, many mistakes could possibly be prevented if we would think before we leap into a life changing decision like marriage. Do you want to spend the rest of your life with this person because you love them and they make you happy? Or, do you want to spend your life with this person because society tells you that marriage will make you and those around you happy?

It's very empowering to finally be free from constantly being on the lookout for this "knight in shining armor" who will rescue me from the perils of single-hood. That doesn't mean that I don't want to get married, because I do. I'm just not forcing my way into a guy's heart simply because it is convenient. Much like Jane Austen, I want to marry for love, not because society thinks it is just what women do. Don't get me wrong; some days being single sucks, like when I need someone to open a jar (not because men are stronger but because I have the upper body strength of a toddler) or when I hear a strange noise in the middle of the night.

If you're single, embrace it. There is nothing wrong with you because you have not found the one right out of high school or college. Take the time to get to know yourself. Who are you? We need to be comfortable being ourselves before we can be comfortable being with someone else.

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