Overwhelmed

I use think that adults had everything figured out--that they were confident, knowledgeable in all things, and complete. However, as I am quickly approaching 30, I realize just how messed up adults are. We don't really talk about the fact that no one knows what they are doing--not in the grand scheme of things. We don't have all the answers. If life was an exam, most of us would fail it. And that's okay.

We don't have to have everything figured out. We don't have to have our entire lives planned. Society gives us a a brief outline of when we should complete different events in our lives, and if we don't stick to that timeline, we feel as if we've failed.

Go to college after high school, Find your soulmate and marry in your early 20s, Have a couple of kids before you turn 30, Get old and retire.

But, ladies and gentlemen, be a rule breaker. I'm not telling you to go out and kill people because that is a pretty good rule. Not killing people is good. What I'm saying is that it's okay to go back to school in your 40s or to not get married when all of your other friends are. Create your own timeline. Own your life.

You are enough.

Fight Against Gravity

Photo Credit: Tiffany Conley

Yesterday began as any other day. My cat woke me up at 6 AM, whining and purring. I got ready and left to pick up my friend for work.  As I was walking down the stairs carrying multiple bags, lunch, and a cup, I thought It would suck if I fell right now. My foot apparently didn't get the whole message. Only hearing fell, my foot decided "Okay, if you say so." It was at that moment that my foot chose to slip from the stair, causing me to go tumbling down multiple stairs and landing hard on my bottom. Covered in water from the rain, soaked stairs and orange soda from my cup, I glanced over to see if my neighbors had seen this cringe induced moment, and to my dismay, I saw the shadow outline of a woman peeking through her blinds, curious to figure out the noise at 7 AM. That's when I knew it: Gravity was my nemesis.

Life is Not Like Corey and Topanga

For 15 years, I've had a crush on the same boy. It all started in 3rd grade. He had the latest hairstyle: the bowl cut. He was in the classroom next door, and every time I caught a glimpse of his deep blue eyes, my little eight year old heart would flutter. Soon, we moved away, and I thought Well that's the end of this crush. Later, my family and I moved back, and back came my crush on this blue-eyed beauty. Don't misunderstand. I haven't built a secret shrine to him in my closet like Helga from Hey Arnold. But, in the back of my mind, he's always been there. There's always been the idea of us finally ending up together. Like Corey and Topanga.

Living in the south has its perks: friendliness, family values, southern hospitality, etc. However, one of my big issues with living here is the marriage expectation. I'm aware that the world has a collective expectation that everyone should get married, but here in the south that expectation is exemplified to an unimaginable number. My entire life, I've been taught that if you are not married by 25, then you are considered an old maid. How ridiculous is that?

Recently, I've moved on from the all-obsessive crush on my third grade sweetheart (if you can even call him that), and I'm very proud of myself. If you knew what an accomplishment this was, you'd be proud as well. I finally realized that I was not in love with him. I was in love with this idea of love. I was so set on accomplishing this "Corey and Topanga" love that society pushes on us that I overlooked something important: being in love.

I think that's what hinders many of our generation. We are too concerned about finding love and not wanting to be alone that we cling to the first potential mate that we see. I've noticed that many of my friends and family are in relationships with people that they continuously fight with and can't trust, simply because they don't want to be alone. I know that love, at its core, is not a rational idea. However, many mistakes could possibly be prevented if we would think before we leap into a life changing decision like marriage. Do you want to spend the rest of your life with this person because you love them and they make you happy? Or, do you want to spend your life with this person because society tells you that marriage will make you and those around you happy?

It's very empowering to finally be free from constantly being on the lookout for this "knight in shining armor" who will rescue me from the perils of single-hood. That doesn't mean that I don't want to get married, because I do. I'm just not forcing my way into a guy's heart simply because it is convenient. Much like Jane Austen, I want to marry for love, not because society thinks it is just what women do. Don't get me wrong; some days being single sucks, like when I need someone to open a jar (not because men are stronger but because I have the upper body strength of a toddler) or when I hear a strange noise in the middle of the night.

If you're single, embrace it. There is nothing wrong with you because you have not found the one right out of high school or college. Take the time to get to know yourself. Who are you? We need to be comfortable being ourselves before we can be comfortable being with someone else.

Photo Credits: 
<iframe src="//giphy.com/embed/k3vTan0PfXHO0" width="480" height="270" frameBorder="0" class="giphy-embed" allowFullScreen></iframe><p><a href="http://giphy.com/gifs/nowthisnews-news-nowthis-shako-liu-k3vTan0PfXHO0">via GIPHY</a></p>

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Existential Crisis of Your 20s: Finding a Job

Photo Credit: Tiffany Conley

Crossing into Adulthood

Everyone always warns you about how horrible your teenage years will be, how you'll feel awkward and insecure, and your confidence will waver. But, truthfully, being a teenager wasn't that bad. Sure, it had its moments of awkwardness and insecurities but all in all, it wasn't that horrible.

But what is horrible, ladies and gents, is the secret slump of your twenties, the terror of the unknown, graduating college and feeling lost. Why is it that you're at your peak of happiness during graduation and suddenly filled with anxiety every time someone asks what's next? For someone who was (and kind of still is) an over-achiever, I was not prepared for the existential crisis that is your twenties. No one fully prepares you for leaving school. Think about it: we spend the majority of our lives in a classroom. I've spent 21 years total in school. That's crazy. My identity is school. We are not prepared to exist outside of school. Now, I know what you're thinking: "Tiffany, don't you think you're being a bit over-dramatic? Can't you just get a job to fill the emptiness left behind from graduation?" And to that dear reader I say, "Yes. I've explored that option. I've applied to over 50 jobs, lowering my standards with each application. However, unlike Harry Potter, I was not the chosen one for those jobs." No one tells you how useless and embarrassed you'll feel after you've spent months looking for a job upon graduation from Grad School to only find rejection.

In order to help future (or current) twenty-somethings struggling with this same slump, here are a few things I wish someone would have told me:

• No one is perfect! We all can't have the perfect life, i.e. job upon graduation, proposal soon after, and an awesome vacation to celebrate. Don't be afraid to make mistakes.
• You're not alone. Despite the fact that Facebook makes you feel that you are the only one suffering this twenty-something existential crisis, believe me, you're not alone. People, usually, only put the best (or, in some cases, the worst) parts of their lives on social media, which makes them look perfect. Their social media pages are as real as reality T.V.
• Plans change and that's okay. It's completely normal to not have a plan upon graduation. Or, as in most cases, have your plans fail and be forced to allow changes to occur. You are not a failure if you do not immediately have all the answers to finding your dream job. 
• Be persistent! You may have to complete hundreds of applications just to have the chance at a couple of interviews. Nevertheless your time to shine in a position will come. Someone will take a chance on you despite your awkward interview skills and your "lack of experience." That's what happened for me, even though I began to lose faith. Nearly one hundred applications later and I've been offered a job. 
• Stay patient and positive. I know that the twenty-something slump can stink (trust me, I'm the queen of pessimism) but keep your heads up my friends. It may not feel like it at this moment, but something awesome is coming your way.

Lets share some of our "slump" stories in the comments below. Just think, maybe your stories will be able to help someone else.

Thoughts Every Cat Owner Has When Their Cat Actually wants to Cuddle

1. What is happening?

2. Is this a trick?

3. What do you want?

4. Is it because I just ate bacon?

5. Oh no, my foot is falling asleep.

6. I should have sat in a more comfortable position.

7. Crap, I have to pee.

8. If I shift slightly, will she run away?

9. Is she trying to tell me something with this new found love for me?

10. Is she sick?

11. Is she dying?!

12. Awe, she does really love me.

13. I'll just pet her to let her know that I love her too.

14. And, she's gone.

15. Well, that went better than expected.

Why British Boys are Better

An accent can change anything. An okay-looking guy can change into a handsome prince. Here are just a few reasons why we love the Brits.

1. Their hair is always so perfectly quaffed. 

2. They also dress really well.

3. They command your attention.

4. Their smiles light up a room.

5.  They're not afraid to act completely normal, or even a bit weird.

Leave a comment down below of any other reasons on why you think British boys are irresistible.


Photo Credit:
http://giphy.com/

Grad School As Explained by the Cast of Bridesmaids

1. When they offer you free tuition as a Graduate Assistant.

2. Then, you quickly realize that it's just paid slavery:

3. Bargain hunting becomes your means of survival: 

4. You find out that every class that is being offered is terrible:

5. When your thesis chair wants you to add a ten more sources to your thesis:

6. You slowly think you're losing your mind:

7. You just need a night out with your friends:

8. When the new grad students say something ignorant in class:

9. When you find out who checked out the book you need to finish your thesis:

10. When it comes time for you thesis defense and you're running late:

11. When your thesis gets accepted:

12. Graduation day:

13. However, someone has to ruin it by asking what's next for you:

Comment down below any struggles that you may have felt in grad school, or college in general, that Bridesmaids perfectly explains.


Photo/Gif Credit:
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