Existential Crisis of Your 20s: Finding a Job

Photo Credit: Tiffany Conley

Crossing into Adulthood

Everyone always warns you about how horrible your teenage years will be, how you'll feel awkward and insecure, and your confidence will waver. But, truthfully, being a teenager wasn't that bad. Sure, it had its moments of awkwardness and insecurities but all in all, it wasn't that horrible.

But what is horrible, ladies and gents, is the secret slump of your twenties, the terror of the unknown, graduating college and feeling lost. Why is it that you're at your peak of happiness during graduation and suddenly filled with anxiety every time someone asks what's next? For someone who was (and kind of still is) an over-achiever, I was not prepared for the existential crisis that is your twenties. No one fully prepares you for leaving school. Think about it: we spend the majority of our lives in a classroom. I've spent 21 years total in school. That's crazy. My identity is school. We are not prepared to exist outside of school. Now, I know what you're thinking: "Tiffany, don't you think you're being a bit over-dramatic? Can't you just get a job to fill the emptiness left behind from graduation?" And to that dear reader I say, "Yes. I've explored that option. I've applied to over 50 jobs, lowering my standards with each application. However, unlike Harry Potter, I was not the chosen one for those jobs." No one tells you how useless and embarrassed you'll feel after you've spent months looking for a job upon graduation from Grad School to only find rejection.

In order to help future (or current) twenty-somethings struggling with this same slump, here are a few things I wish someone would have told me:

• No one is perfect! We all can't have the perfect life, i.e. job upon graduation, proposal soon after, and an awesome vacation to celebrate. Don't be afraid to make mistakes.
• You're not alone. Despite the fact that Facebook makes you feel that you are the only one suffering this twenty-something existential crisis, believe me, you're not alone. People, usually, only put the best (or, in some cases, the worst) parts of their lives on social media, which makes them look perfect. Their social media pages are as real as reality T.V.
• Plans change and that's okay. It's completely normal to not have a plan upon graduation. Or, as in most cases, have your plans fail and be forced to allow changes to occur. You are not a failure if you do not immediately have all the answers to finding your dream job. 
• Be persistent! You may have to complete hundreds of applications just to have the chance at a couple of interviews. Nevertheless your time to shine in a position will come. Someone will take a chance on you despite your awkward interview skills and your "lack of experience." That's what happened for me, even though I began to lose faith. Nearly one hundred applications later and I've been offered a job. 
• Stay patient and positive. I know that the twenty-something slump can stink (trust me, I'm the queen of pessimism) but keep your heads up my friends. It may not feel like it at this moment, but something awesome is coming your way.

Lets share some of our "slump" stories in the comments below. Just think, maybe your stories will be able to help someone else.

Thoughts Every Cat Owner Has When Their Cat Actually wants to Cuddle

1. What is happening?

2. Is this a trick?

3. What do you want?

4. Is it because I just ate bacon?

5. Oh no, my foot is falling asleep.

6. I should have sat in a more comfortable position.

7. Crap, I have to pee.

8. If I shift slightly, will she run away?

9. Is she trying to tell me something with this new found love for me?

10. Is she sick?

11. Is she dying?!

12. Awe, she does really love me.

13. I'll just pet her to let her know that I love her too.

14. And, she's gone.

15. Well, that went better than expected.

Why British Boys are Better

An accent can change anything. An okay-looking guy can change into a handsome prince. Here are just a few reasons why we love the Brits.

1. Their hair is always so perfectly quaffed. 

2. They also dress really well.

3. They command your attention.

4. Their smiles light up a room.

5.  They're not afraid to act completely normal, or even a bit weird.

Leave a comment down below of any other reasons on why you think British boys are irresistible.


Photo Credit:
http://giphy.com/

Grad School As Explained by the Cast of Bridesmaids

1. When they offer you free tuition as a Graduate Assistant.

2. Then, you quickly realize that it's just paid slavery:

3. Bargain hunting becomes your means of survival: 

4. You find out that every class that is being offered is terrible:

5. When your thesis chair wants you to add a ten more sources to your thesis:

6. You slowly think you're losing your mind:

7. You just need a night out with your friends:

8. When the new grad students say something ignorant in class:

9. When you find out who checked out the book you need to finish your thesis:

10. When it comes time for you thesis defense and you're running late:

11. When your thesis gets accepted:

12. Graduation day:

13. However, someone has to ruin it by asking what's next for you:

Comment down below any struggles that you may have felt in grad school, or college in general, that Bridesmaids perfectly explains.


Photo/Gif Credit:
http://giphy.com/search/bridesmaids/12

Thoughts Every Awkward, Anxious Person Has

If you are anything like me, then you worry about some super weird things. From worrying of running over pedestrians to worrying over why your friend hugged everyone except you, sometimes you even laugh at yourself for worrying over such trifles. Here are just a few of my anxious, and sometimes weird, thoughts.

1. Did I flush the toilet? I really hope I did.

2. Oh no, did I lock the door? To walk back to the door or potentially be ravaged by a robber? Hmm, decisions, decisions.

3. Did I write my name on my test?

4. Why are they waving at me? I don't know them. Oh, no. They weren't waving at me.

5. Is someone walking across the cross-walk? No. Good, it's safe to drive. Crap, was there someone walking and I just didn't see them? I'll just look in the rear-view mirror just to make sure no one is lying dead in the road.

6. Did anyone just see me trip/fall? *Looks around*

Yeah, they definitely saw. Quick, act like nothing happened!

7. *On the first day of class* Did the teacher skip over my name or am I in the wrong class. Oh, no. I am not getting up if this is the wrong class. No one will know my shame.

8. Remember that time in middle school when you wrote that love letter to the guy, and he ignored it? Yeah, that's so embarrassing. Why did you even do that?

9. There is a police car behind you; quick, act normal. Don't do anything awkward.

10. *Hears noise in the middle of the night* Take cover! The end is nigh.

Photo/Gif Credits:
http://elitedaily.com/women/types-exes-every-girl-can-lifetime/
http://www.dreamstime.com/photos-images/old-rustic-key-keyhole.html
http://hoochcreative.com.au/hooch_creative_blog/kissing-telling-pr-strategy/
http://juliajm15.deviantart.com/art/Hiding-in-Hair-259531186
https://divinesecretsofme.wordpress.com/tag/tripping/
http://giphy.com/gifs/kga2UUPb9qZZC
http://giphy.com/gifs/car-culture-aotd-answers-of-the-day-xgLAwSrEU09ri
http://www.zap2it.com/blogs/the_bachelor_ashley_s_goes_falling_down_jillian_falls_down_gifs-2015-01
http://giphy.com/gifs/glee-sbl-Z37cSqOMlcHEQ
http://giphy.com/gifs/car-crank-2-hit-and-run-csKm89eFJWVtS
http://giphy.com/gifs/horror-weird-creepy-zyMkpTTRC8I2k
http://giphy.com/gifs/car-hits-SYkUKr79gmTYI

Dealing with Family Gatherings

If you're anything like me, family gatherings are a constant struggle. From hearing stories you've heard a million times to having a relative ask you about your nonexistent love-life, any family gathering can be tiresome. But, have no fear Tiffany is here to tell you a few secrets to getting through the holiday season.

1. Remember to breathe.
Many of our problems, whether dealing with family, co-workers, or roommates, can be solved if we just take a moment to breathe. If Aunt Susan goes on a 20 minute rant about how she was married with two kids by the time she was your age, making you path of education seem irrelevant, just breathe. Know that you have chosen the path that is right for you. Not everyone gets married right out of high school, so don't sweat it. Just think: you can sleep in without interruptions from children. As Elsa says, "Yes, I'm alone, but I'm alone and free."

2. Don't play into ignorance.
Going home after being away at college may pose more problems than you anticipated. We usually are unaware of how much we have changed until we surround ourselves with the people (family and friends) that we grew up around. Going back, our eyes may be opened to the ignorance of the people around us, whether that be sexism, racism, or ageism. However, it is important not to engage in a verbal battle, because it is like arguing with a brick wall. Remember to tread lightly through the unsure waters of ignorance.

3. Just smile and nod.
Sometimes, if you want to have a peaceful and non-detrimental holiday, or visit in general, you must take what your family says with a grain of salt. Just smile and nod. With some of my family, arguing will get you no where; thus, nodding and ignoring their ignorance has a better pay-off. Later, you can invoke your pre-teen self and complain about them on Tumblr.

4. Take breaks to recharge.
Once you've spent any amount of extended period around a large group of people, it is important to separate yourself from the group and recharge to keep you from snapping at the simplest questions. If you are an introvert, like yours truly, taking small breaks can be a heaven-sent. Take a long shower, go for a walk, offer to take out the trash, or, in extreme circumstances, take unnecessary bathroom breaks. Do whatever it takes to help your mental state. Family visits, or group gatherings in general, should not call for panic attacks.

5. Look on the positive side.
Once you've tried the aforementioned steps, try to think positively. Just remember, you are only visiting. The visit will soon come to an end, and you will soon be able to escape to your home for peace and solitude. Keep a mental countdown and remind yourself daily that the end is nigh. Let's face it, once you've left your family, you will miss them, even though that is hard to imagine now. So take the good with the bad because, in the end, you do love these people.